I'm coming right out and saying it. "Parenting is HARD!!"
I worked with school-aged children with emotional and behavior concerns during my first 8 years of teaching. That was a hard job. I thought that with my background in education and behavioral therapy, I'd have no problem in the parenting department. HA!
No amount of preparation could have made this easy!
One great way to learn about parenting is to talk to other parents! After speaking with many other mom's this week, I realize that ultimately, there is no one 'right' way to parent. What works for one or most may not work for another. Considering the unique nature of the situation and temperaments of the individuals involved really is the beginning to a solution that works for everyone.
Children change quickly, so we have to adjust our techniques a bit as time goes on in order to accomodate them. I have found myself going back to the training I received during my years teaching, in graduate school and during recent professional development.
In Conscious Discipline, Becky Bailey talks about how adults must first make changes in their own lives and in turn, change the lives of children. She also talks about really understanding children, their differences and the circumstances that make them who they are at this moment.
While attending one of Dr. Bailey's workshops (before motherhood), I wrote down, "a child needs to be treated the way they need to be treated." With all of the emphasis on multiple intelligences, learning styles, and the 5 Love Languages, I was forced to change how I felt about behavior. Now, as a parent, I am relearning this valuable information and trying to figure out where my children's intelligence lies, how they learn best, and how to fill their 'love tanks', all in the hopes of making all of our lives a little more peaceful.
When dealing with behavior, I try to keep in mind these questions: Does my child really understand what I think they do? How are they interpreting what I'm saying? Can they really control what I assume they can?
Ah Ha!!
We all have to find a balance within our own situation that works for everyone involved. This is tricky and requires a lot of creative thinking 'outside the box' so that appropriate solutions can be found for unique situations. This is why parenting is so hard! Sometimes it is hard to figure out just what makes our kids tick! I know it is a task that keeps my busy!!
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